A bit too real...

Been a few days since I last posted, but have been busy enjoying my family! Good problem to have :)

Last Thursday I went to the hospital to have the blood taken for the genetic test. It all became a little too real for me when the councillor gave me the date of results (9th November) and asked me how I would like to be given the news. I didn't have an answer. How would anyone like to be told life changing news? That night I realised why some people get the test done but change their mind when faced with that moment just before the news is given. Will I be brave enough to find out? 

At the moment it is like Schrodinger's Cat... I both have MND and don't at the moment which is so much easier to cope with right now, but I also feel like I'm 'holding my breath' when it comes to my future. Saying that, even if the result is positive, I will still not know when I will develop symptoms. What a cruel disease.

Went to mum and dads for dinner Saturday and had to help feed dad as his fingers have almost given up, he will be having surgery soon for the future feeding tube. Its all getting very real now. 

Church was great yesterday, I need to go back to the bible. I need to lean on God more. I need to have faith that my path is already set and it will all be for a purpose. I am not afraid of dying, I know what riches there are to come in heaven. I am afraid of leaving my children, my family. I pray whatever comes that I will find peace.




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