Acceptance
Over the last two months I have slowly started to feel more peaceful everyday. Acceptance has started and I am getting my head round the emotions that have come with a terminally ill parent and the knowledge of having inherited the gene that is at fault.
This acceptance and feeling of peace has come with building my relationship with God. I always sat in church feeling 'sorted' never really feeling like I was in need of anything more. Often the pastor would speak about going forward in faith, growing in relationship etc but I couldn't relate. I couldn't see how or why. I suppose I was stagnant. I had stopped praying. I had stopped reading my bible. No wonder I wasn't getting excited, I had forgotten the joy of growing in faith and having a meaningful relationship with God.
This growth has come from several places....
Being involved in the children's work at church and being paired up with a very down to earth, kind but most importantly very faithful guy. His ability to hold me accountable (unknowingly) and his ability to take what I have prepared and pull the best out of me and the children has really helped me. Today whilst sat round the table, listening to songs whilst we and the group sat making gifts to give others we both felt the presence of peace, of the Holy spirit. For those of you that don't have faith this must sound super weird, but honestly, don't knock it till you've tried it! The feeling that nothing is worth worrying about because God 'has your back' is priceless.
I have been reading an awesome book my friend recommended called Switch on your Brain by Dr Caroline Leaf. It is a book about how the way we think affects us both physically and emotionally. She is a communication pathologist and audiologist, who has worked in the area of cognitive neuroscience for many years. It is such an interesting read. I like all things to do with the brain, I find it truly interesting. The book also links science to what the bible teaches which I find even more fascinating. This book focuses on the power thoughts have, that you cannot control the events and circumstances of life, but you can control your reaction to those events and circumstances. (Matt. 7:13-14; Gal.6:7-8) This knowledge is liberating!
The thing that got me the most was when I watched The Shack. Those of you who don't know about it, it is a film adaptation of a book written by William P Young. Now the film has caused some disagreement between Christians. Some love it. Some hate it. I like to take it at face value and as with any Sermon or passage I like to see what I feel about it, to not let others have the final say on what I can learn from it, what God wants me to hear. I don't care that God is portrayed as a woman, that is so not what you should focus on. You should focus on the sentiment behind it. We can't use our earthly perception to fully grasp the incomprehensible! I found myself in floods of tears when I realised, whilst watching the film, how special and unconditional my relationship with God is. I cannot explain to people why I believe such an unbelievable thing, all I can say to those who don't know God is it is an overwhelming love in my heart, a gut feeling.
Anyhoo, lets leave it here... if you're still reading, thank you for listening to my heartfelt words. Now go give someone a hug :)
This acceptance and feeling of peace has come with building my relationship with God. I always sat in church feeling 'sorted' never really feeling like I was in need of anything more. Often the pastor would speak about going forward in faith, growing in relationship etc but I couldn't relate. I couldn't see how or why. I suppose I was stagnant. I had stopped praying. I had stopped reading my bible. No wonder I wasn't getting excited, I had forgotten the joy of growing in faith and having a meaningful relationship with God.
This growth has come from several places....
Being involved in the children's work at church and being paired up with a very down to earth, kind but most importantly very faithful guy. His ability to hold me accountable (unknowingly) and his ability to take what I have prepared and pull the best out of me and the children has really helped me. Today whilst sat round the table, listening to songs whilst we and the group sat making gifts to give others we both felt the presence of peace, of the Holy spirit. For those of you that don't have faith this must sound super weird, but honestly, don't knock it till you've tried it! The feeling that nothing is worth worrying about because God 'has your back' is priceless.
I have been reading an awesome book my friend recommended called Switch on your Brain by Dr Caroline Leaf. It is a book about how the way we think affects us both physically and emotionally. She is a communication pathologist and audiologist, who has worked in the area of cognitive neuroscience for many years. It is such an interesting read. I like all things to do with the brain, I find it truly interesting. The book also links science to what the bible teaches which I find even more fascinating. This book focuses on the power thoughts have, that you cannot control the events and circumstances of life, but you can control your reaction to those events and circumstances. (Matt. 7:13-14; Gal.6:7-8) This knowledge is liberating!
The thing that got me the most was when I watched The Shack. Those of you who don't know about it, it is a film adaptation of a book written by William P Young. Now the film has caused some disagreement between Christians. Some love it. Some hate it. I like to take it at face value and as with any Sermon or passage I like to see what I feel about it, to not let others have the final say on what I can learn from it, what God wants me to hear. I don't care that God is portrayed as a woman, that is so not what you should focus on. You should focus on the sentiment behind it. We can't use our earthly perception to fully grasp the incomprehensible! I found myself in floods of tears when I realised, whilst watching the film, how special and unconditional my relationship with God is. I cannot explain to people why I believe such an unbelievable thing, all I can say to those who don't know God is it is an overwhelming love in my heart, a gut feeling.
Anyhoo, lets leave it here... if you're still reading, thank you for listening to my heartfelt words. Now go give someone a hug :)
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